Jan 31, 2013

INTERVIEW - The self-esteem queen

"Our inner health is as important as our physical condition. There will always be setbacks in life and it is important to have a strong inner core." 
Mia Törnblom

Meet Swedish self-esteem guru Mia Törnblom. I´ve been fortunate to meet with this vibrant, energetic, seriously happy and beautiful woman several times through work over the years. She´s also very inspiring, and extremely funny and entertaining on stage so if you have a chance don´t miss to see her. Mia published her first book about self-esteem 2005. It was an instant mega success. By then nobody really thought about the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence. Self-confidence is knowing that I can achieve my goals and get things done. Self-esteem is being conscious about my own worth and to know how it feels to be me, my own worth in my own eyes. You could have high self-confidence but low self-esteem at the same time. That first book was followed by several more, and a mentor business for Mia who today coaches some of Swedens' top leaders and companies in personal leadership. I was so happy when she agreed to tell you readers some of her knowledge, and the other day the very busy Mia and I finally were able to have a great talk about how to build that inner core. 

Mia, are there any routines to keep the self-esteem high?
Yes, if you take responsibility for your own needs then everything else gets easier. You have to ask yourself; what is right for me? What are my needs? It is also important to be able to communicate ones needs, other people shall not have to guess them for you. Don´t blame anybody else. 
Another thing that is important is to confirm yourself continuously. You have to refill that account of yours. It is important to confirm what you DO and what you ARE. Those are different, but we need both. 
Don´t expect perfection all the time. 
Everything happens in the mind. Many people think bad about themselves, sometimes on autopilot. You need to change that.

Many people are looking for their ”purpose in life”? Will good self-esteem make it easier to connect to that purpose and recognise it?
Yes definitely! Good self-esteem will make it easier to recognise what is important and meaningful for you, not what´s important for others. It´s easier to be true to yourself, your authentic self, and it gets easier to move outside your comfort zone. Everything in life becomes more meaningful. 

How can we be more successful in our careers with better self-esteem? 
With good self-esteem you can really enjoy your career and success. With a low self-esteem you only postpone enjoying it and instead focus on the next presentation, the next promotion, the next...You feel like you don´t deserve it, you feel unworthy of your success. 

What are your best tips for dealing with inner stress on a daily basis?
The best tip is to have realistic expectations on yourself. Set attractive goals that you can live up to and meet. Give cred to yourself!

What is beauty to you?
It goes hand-in-hand. I meet a lot of beautiful faces that don´t really like themselves on the inside. That shows. There´s no spark. But it´s also important to take care of your outer looks. It´s important to like your body, to be nice to it. My body is the house where my soul lives!

5 Rules for a HAPPY life:

Get to know yourself. Take responsibility for your needs.

Practice what you preach. Do everything you can to live by this.

Make sure you have fun. Treat yourself to things that empowers and strengthens you. Invest in that.       And surround yourself with friends who strengthens you. 

Enjoy! My hobby is to enjoy, whether it´s going to the theatre, eating chocolate or something else.     Just enjoy more. 

Make your mistakes something to laugh about for yourself, and do it fast, instead of dwelling about the actual mistake. You cannot undo it, but you can probably make a good and funny story out of it. This will feel better!

Mia Törnblom homepage